One Month

Today marks one month since Lucas passed away. I can't believe we've been without him for so long. It's still very fresh and raw. The 8 months of pregnancy and the 2 and a half month hospital stay seemed so long while it was happening but now that it's over seems way too fast.

Adam and I spent the bye weekend clearing out the nursery and storing away all Lucas' things (the girls are excited to gain yet another play room in the house!). I've also been working to complete an album with all our pictures of him. On average I took at least 3 pictures a day so there were a lot to sort through from just 79 days of life! It was a little emotionally overwhelming, but I finished and am glad to know we can look back at them whenever we need to.

Hadley chose a photo to keep by her bed and was a little thrown at first when we started putting away the baby things. But she seems to have an understanding of everything and is handling it as best a two year old can (she doesn't turn 3 until Sunday). She knows that Lucas is her brother angel.

Not long after Lucas passed I had a simple ring made with his birth stone. Three stones because he was my third child. Though I think of him every day it's nice to look down and have another constant reminder of my little man.

I've kept in touch with his nurses and that's been great. They were such a huge part of his life and ours and it's been strange not talking to them daily! Hopefully they'll continue to cross all professional boundaries and remain our friends :)

As it gets colder and the holidays quickly approach, it will be hard facing them without Lucas, but the girls' smiles and excitement towards all the upcoming festivities will keep us going.

We miss our guy so much. Love you sweet boy.